My mom is living with dementia and I know she needs more support at home. Friends keep telling me to bring in a companion, but every time I even suggest it, she says, ‘I don’t want a stranger in my house’ and I feel guilty, like I am letting her down. How do I know if it is time for a companion, and how do I introduce the idea without causing a fight?

March 2026

You are juggling two very real pressures at the same time: wanting your mom to stay safe and supported, and wanting to respect her independence and personality. It is completely normal to feel torn and a little guilty here. Most caregivers reach a moment when they realize, “I cannot keep doing all of this alone,” long before their loved one is ready to say, “Yes, I need more help.”

A good companion is not a replacement for family. Think of this person as another member of the care circle: someone whose job is to support both of you. For your mom, that may mean social connection, a predictable routine, gentle encouragement with daily tasks, and a familiar face she can rely on. For you, it means there is another adult in the mix, so you are not the only one watching the clock, worrying about the stove, or trying to squeeze errands and rest into the same hour.

When you introduce the idea, try to frame it around your needs as well as hers, rather than only as a comment on what she can no longer do. For example: “I worry when I cannot be here, and I want us both to have a little more breathing room. I would feel better if we had someone who could keep you company and help with a few things when I am out.” That can feel less threatening than “You cannot manage on your own.”

You do not have to start with a lifelong commitment. Sometimes a short “trial run” helps everyone relax. One afternoon a week focused on something she enjoys can be a gentler introduction than suddenly filling the calendar. If possible, involve her in small choices: what time of day feels best, what kinds of activities she prefers, whether she would rather call this person a “companion,” “helper,” or simply “Jackie.”

Finally, remember that your instincts matter. If you are seeing signs that the current setup is not sustainable, that is important data. Wanting help is not a failure of love; it is a way to protect it. A well-matched companion can reduce your mom’s loneliness and your own exhaustion at the same time. That is not giving up on her. It is giving both of you a better chance to enjoy the time you have together.

Each month, Dr. Marc Rothman, our CEO and a seasoned geriatric expert, addresses your concerns, providing practical advice and compassionate solutions to the challenges faced by those caring for loved ones with dementia. Whether you’re looking for strategies to manage daily care routines or need clarity on medical aspects of dementia, Dr. Marc is here to help. Join us to explore his responses to community questions and submit your own queries to deepen your understanding and enhance your caregiving journey.

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